So a year ago today, on a Friday, is when it all began...I can remember every step like it was yesterday. Really, looking back it all started the day before but thankfully I was clueless for one more day. Mike, Ava and I had just gotten into the car at Price Chopper when I received a call from the pulmonary doctor's office....I had had pneumonia and had fluid drained the week before, big deal, right....the receptionist asked if they could move my follow up appointment up a week to today. She said it was highly important I bring someone along....again, we think, oh good he's going to release me to go back to work. So I call mom to
see if she can join the fun at the doc. Well, SLAM A BAM BAM when that doctor walked in and began telling us that cancer cells were found in the fluid drained from my lungs. I think mom and I could have been knocked over by a feather...What? I didn't even feel bad from the pneumonia....What? I have been going to a very intense personal trainer.....What? This guy is WRONG! So he says that they aren't sure where the cancer cells are traveling from. They think it's my ovaries. They send me off to imaging. Lots of images taken and read stat of the whole lower part of my body....phone call from the pulmonary doctor. He says, no your ovaries, spleen, kidneys all look great...he says I wouldn't go telling people you have cancer at this point. Hmmmm so I was right this guy was wrong all along?? Mom goes to get Ava. I'm home alone and the doctor calls again. Ok Tasha now the pathologist has had another pathologist read your report and they all feel it's coming from your lung....Tasha you have lung cancer. The next 30 minutes were the longest minutes I can remember. I was alone. Mike hadn't gotten home yet, and I remember not wanting to call him because he'd be driving. Now I could keep going but I don't want to bore everyone. I could have gotten stuck on so many things here, and don't get me wrong, I went in my bedroom that Friday night I didn't really come out until Monday. Mike went downstairs and didn't really come up.....Mom, well, she held it together like the brick she is and stayed out in the living room and made Ava think this was the best weekend ever. They cooked and cooked and cooked....no one ate....but they cooked! So, the pulmonary doc referred me to a oncologist but you know that pulmonary doctor was not one of my favorite people anymore so I didn't want to listen to him. I listened to God instead and God had thrown some great people into my life because He knew this event was about to happen. Then, He went before me and opened some doors and I followed Him right to my Oncologist's door that very Thursday afternoon on a horribly snow filled day! Now as I look back at this year I can cry, be mad, question...and don't get me wrong I do. But, I can also praise God for all that has happened so I've decided to write a top 10!
10 Gifts Cancer has Given Me:
10. The gift ok knowing I'm not crazy for going to the doctor over and over and over saying something was off.......NO ONE knows your body like you do
9. It's ok to cry for sad reasons or happy reasons for gosh sakes it ok to show emotion for that matter
8. I can put myself first and take care of me and it's NOT selfish
7. To worry less about what other think and do what I want when I want and ENJOY life as I want it
6. You never know what someone is going through so be kind all the time
5. To put my family first. Someone else can take my place at work....I will be missed but can be replaced....no one can take my place as wife, mom,daughter, sister, cousin, friend
4. That no one knows what's going to happen in life so live like you were dying!!
3. It's ok to say you need help that's why God surrounded me by amazing people
2. To build build build memories with my Ava
1. To believe in miracles
Now I could have recorded all this and done my own version of the latest country music song, but 1--it would have been set to the tune of Row, Row, Row your Boat or Twinkle, Twinkle (all my songs are made to those tunes) and 2--I have a distinct feeling only Ava....well and Tif because she's jealous of this God given talent of mine...would truly appreciate me singing it!!!
God Bless you all and l can't wait to see the miracles 2012 has in store for us all!
see if she can join the fun at the doc. Well, SLAM A BAM BAM when that doctor walked in and began telling us that cancer cells were found in the fluid drained from my lungs. I think mom and I could have been knocked over by a feather...What? I didn't even feel bad from the pneumonia....What? I have been going to a very intense personal trainer.....What? This guy is WRONG! So he says that they aren't sure where the cancer cells are traveling from. They think it's my ovaries. They send me off to imaging. Lots of images taken and read stat of the whole lower part of my body....phone call from the pulmonary doctor. He says, no your ovaries, spleen, kidneys all look great...he says I wouldn't go telling people you have cancer at this point. Hmmmm so I was right this guy was wrong all along?? Mom goes to get Ava. I'm home alone and the doctor calls again. Ok Tasha now the pathologist has had another pathologist read your report and they all feel it's coming from your lung....Tasha you have lung cancer. The next 30 minutes were the longest minutes I can remember. I was alone. Mike hadn't gotten home yet, and I remember not wanting to call him because he'd be driving. Now I could keep going but I don't want to bore everyone. I could have gotten stuck on so many things here, and don't get me wrong, I went in my bedroom that Friday night I didn't really come out until Monday. Mike went downstairs and didn't really come up.....Mom, well, she held it together like the brick she is and stayed out in the living room and made Ava think this was the best weekend ever. They cooked and cooked and cooked....no one ate....but they cooked! So, the pulmonary doc referred me to a oncologist but you know that pulmonary doctor was not one of my favorite people anymore so I didn't want to listen to him. I listened to God instead and God had thrown some great people into my life because He knew this event was about to happen. Then, He went before me and opened some doors and I followed Him right to my Oncologist's door that very Thursday afternoon on a horribly snow filled day! Now as I look back at this year I can cry, be mad, question...and don't get me wrong I do. But, I can also praise God for all that has happened so I've decided to write a top 10!
10 Gifts Cancer has Given Me:
10. The gift ok knowing I'm not crazy for going to the doctor over and over and over saying something was off.......NO ONE knows your body like you do
9. It's ok to cry for sad reasons or happy reasons for gosh sakes it ok to show emotion for that matter
8. I can put myself first and take care of me and it's NOT selfish
7. To worry less about what other think and do what I want when I want and ENJOY life as I want it
6. You never know what someone is going through so be kind all the time
5. To put my family first. Someone else can take my place at work....I will be missed but can be replaced....no one can take my place as wife, mom,daughter, sister, cousin, friend
4. That no one knows what's going to happen in life so live like you were dying!!
3. It's ok to say you need help that's why God surrounded me by amazing people
2. To build build build memories with my Ava
1. To believe in miracles
Now I could have recorded all this and done my own version of the latest country music song, but 1--it would have been set to the tune of Row, Row, Row your Boat or Twinkle, Twinkle (all my songs are made to those tunes) and 2--I have a distinct feeling only Ava....well and Tif because she's jealous of this God given talent of mine...would truly appreciate me singing it!!!
God Bless you all and l can't wait to see the miracles 2012 has in store for us all!
Your are an inspiration Tasha! Love and prayers to you and your family, always.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reminding each of us how much we need to appreciate everything we have and make memories everyday with our loved ones! Love you Tasha!
ReplyDeleteHAVING WORKED WITH PEOPLE WITH ILLNESSES FOR 30 YEARS, I HAVE FOUND THAT EVERYONE IS VERY UNIQUE. I HAVE ADMIRED YOUR FAITH, STAMINA, AND DETERMINATION OVER THE LAST YEAR. YOU HAVE KEPT US ALL INFORMED THRU YOUR BLOG.
ReplyDeleteYOU ALSO HAVE PROTECTED US. YOU HAVE NOT TOLD US ABOUT THE BAD TIMES. THE DAYS WHEN YOU ARE SO FATIGUED YOU CAN BARELY MAKE IT OUT OF BED. DAYS WHEN THE THOUGHT OR SMELL OF FOOD SENDS YOU RUNNING TO THE BATHROOM WITH WAVES OF NAUSEA. DAYS WHEN THE SHEET HURTS JUST LYING ON YOUR SKIN.
WHEN YOU HAVE THESE DAYS WE WANT YOU TO BLOG US ALSO. JUST SAY----BAD DAY---. WE PROMISE WE WILL NOT BUG YOU OR TRY TO TALK YOU INTO FEELING BETTER. ON THOSE DAYS WE WILL ALL SAY AN EXTRA PRAYER FOR YOU.
HOPE YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE IN ALL OF OUR DAILY PRAYERS. ALSO IN PEOPLE’S PRAYERS WHO YOU DON’T KNOW. YEAH!!! THE MORE THE MERRIER.
THANK YOU FOR BEING ONE OF BETH’S BEST FRIENDS.
THINKING OF YOU DAILY,
THERESA SCHMITT
AhhhhMazing! ♥ *Tears* Thank you for who you are & allowing God to use this to touch so many lives.
ReplyDeleteI feel blessed to have known you, even if it was just a little bit, and Jenna was so blessed to have you as a teacher. She loves you and misses you. You are in my thoughts a lot, and I pray for you and your family often :)
ReplyDelete