It's the happiest season of all.....

What a busy and wonderful time of the year!  Christmas makes me feel like a child.  I think there is nothing better than looking at decorations and Christmas lights!  And I'm not sure who is worse when a gift is added under the tree Ava or me.....we both rush to check and see who it's for.  Even though the holidays are busy it always reminds me of how blessed I am.  I have such great family and friends.  It brings me such joy to shop for others, attend holiday parties, and make plans to help my family have a fabulous Christmas!  I love telling the Christmas story to Ava, as a girl after my own heart, she loves nativities which gives us the perfect opportunity to focus on the true meaning of Christmas.  It amazes me every time I see the joy in her eyes when she sees baby Jesus and knows that he came to Earth for us. 

Along with all the joys of season I've also had some setbacks.  I've had pneumonia the last couple of weeks but I am feeling much better the past few days.  In running all the tests for the pneumonia the doctors discovered that the cancer tumors in my bronchial tube lymph nodes are much larger.  3 months ago everything was continuing to shrink to hardly noticeable but unfortunately the tumors are growing now and we need to once again switch courses.  My doctor and his team are working on a new plan and have a certain drug in mind but there are some paper work hoops to jump through. 

Although this is not the news we had hoped to hear we will continue to push on and fight this battle.  In this season of miracles we never know what to expect.  I know with the love and support of my family and friends I will make it through this bump and be stronger because of it.   God Bless you all and Merry Christmas! 

Just Breathe.....

Today was my 3rd PET scan.  As I waited to go back I thought about all the blessings I've been given in the past 8 months.  All the prayers that have been answered and continued this thinking throughout my scan.  I have been surrounded by the most amazingly supportive group of people anyone could imagine and I believe that's a large part of my success with beating cancer. And although I thought about this, and believe this wholeheartedly I still felt like I held my breath until 5:00 when I received  the anticipated call from Dr. Davidner.  He began with we've got great news.......ahhhhh breathe!!  My lymph nodes still have cancer in them but it's shrinking.  So Dr. Davidner will consult his team and decide if we need to make any changes to treatment but he feels confident what we are doing is working and we will continue this course!  Thank you for all the continued prayers and support you are all amazing!  God Bless!!

Twas the Night Before the FIRST day of school...

It's one of my favorite times of the year!  School starts tomorrow.  12 years of teaching and I still get the first day jitters.  Can't wait to have all my kiddos there and get the year started.  I LOVE getting to know all of them and building our classroom community. I can only hope that while building our community that all my new families understand the twist that life has brought me and my family.  As I go back to school I hope and pray that my health remains good.  I have been battling some issues with my voice but we haven't been able to find the culprit as of yet.  My doctors are assuming it could be chemo related, it could be allergies, all I know is I like talking TOO much to have any issues with my voice!  I will continue my treatment schedule of every three weeks for the time being.  I have treatment again in a couple of weeks and after that it's time for a PET scan to make sure things are still looking good.  I ask for continued prayers for good health and strength.  I'm not the only one with jitters tonight. Ava is embarking on a new journey tomorrow as well.  She will be going to preschool at Blackburn this year.  Big and exciting changes. She may have some fears but as a typical girl she knew what was important....finding the perfect outfit for the first day of school!  She said "I need a fancy outfit because you HAVE to look fancy for the first day of school!!" 

Back At It!!

I am now on maintenance treatment for the time being.  Instead of having to go weekly I now go every three weeks for about an hour.  Today started this new treatment, with a new drug.  Although all went great it is a little weird tonight sitting wondering if or how the new drug will effect me.  It's all any of us around here can think about.  And the crazy part is I may have no side effects at all which is what of course we are all hoping for.  But what I do know is no matter the side effects it won't be as bad as before because I don't have it for 2 weeks...yes!!  It's so easy to focus on the little things like side effects or treatment day and loose sight of the big picture.... MIRACLES ARE HAPPENING!!.  I'm trying to remind myself to thank God daily for the blessings occuring in my body and my life.   So I continue to ask for prayers for strength and good health.  I know all of our prayers are being heard! 

You find out who your friends are...

An amazing number of people showed up with their big old hearts on Saturday to show their support for me.   Saturday night my amazing family held "Ropin for Tasha".   Because of the weather the roping part of the event was canceled but they still had a bbq dinner and an auction.  The turn out was incredible.  Not only do I have what I consider one hell of a family I have been blessed with some of the most giving friends of our family.  It was an amazing, laid back, fun event.  I was able to see some family friends I haven't seen in years and it felt like I was a kid again!  To be surrounded by family, friends, food, and fun....I can't imagine a better way to spend an evening.  And to think they were all there to support my family makes it all the more remarkable.  Thank you to my Northwest Missouri Family and Friends.  I have an amazing family!  We have always been very, very close.  Well this time I think they out did themselves.

Answered Prayers

Last week when I met with Dr. Davidner he told me about a new drug he thinks we should switch to but before being able to switch he needed to see where we stood.  So he ordered a PET scan which I had this Wednesday.  After a long evening and day of waiting we finally got the call with excellent news.  The PET scan had good results.  My body has responded tremendously to the treatment I've been doing.  My lung is completely clear as is my back.  A tumor is starting to grow back in my lymph nodes but Dr. Davidner assured me we could handle this.  So we are switching courses and I will be starting a new drug in a week.  This week we have to prepare my body and I have to begin B12 shots.  The reason for changing at this time, is new findings that doing this treatment after the course I was previously on increases the time a lung cancer patient stays in remission.  So while this is fabulous news and God has blessed me more than I could ever imagine by no means am I clear and this is over.  What I have had to come to terms with is I will have to learn to live with cancer.  This will be a life long journey for me....but for now it is one more miracle on the road to what I have to believe will be miracle after miracle! 

Not my week!

Not the best week here.  I first called to set up my PET scan and soon got news I was not happy with.  I found out that when Dr. Davidner had said 3 treatments and then scan he had meant 3 rounds of treatments.  9 full weeks not the 3 weeks like I had thought.  I guess that was wishful thinking on my part!  I will do whatever it takes and make the best of it but I do have to admit I was a bit disappointed.  My friend Sarah and I head out to treatment on Thursday, I have my blood drawn, get weighed, blood pressure taken, and go sit in my recliner, get my self wrapped in my blankets, all the fun weekly tasks.  Then we wait and wait and wait.  I'm beginning to think ok people what's going on here.  Finally the nurse comes to let me know Dr. Davidner has decided my white blood count is too low for treatment that day.  She tells me I need to take it easy for a week and stay away from big crowds.  Or places that large amounts of people go.  I think how weird I feel great.  I guess I'm taking it as a blessing a week without chemo equals a week without side effects.  And so today Ava and I kicked off our week of relaxation by staying in our jammies all day and watching movies.  Doesn't sound to bad does it!  We continue to pray for good health here at the Berls house and ask that you do the same.  Thank you for all the support!